Monday, 3 September 2018

Talking About Those Santas For Hire

By James Brooks


Ho ho ho. No? Fine. Not everyone can do it and sound like Santa himself anyway. But for those who actually can sound and look like him, that is impressive. To have the slightly pinkish face, white hair, and white beard? Way to rock Father Christmas. There are a lot of those in Dallas, we hear. So if you are looking for one to host as Mr. Claus himself, then take a walk around the place and get you Dallas Santa For Hire.

Oh. Turns out he passed away already earlier this year. That is sad and slightly disappointing. How will children take to a new Santa in this mall? Will they even notice the difference? Kids have tiny brains so probably not. The smart ones are too mature and smart to even think about sitting on the lap of an old guy.

Think about it. It may be risky to get some shady hoodlums to act as Mr. Claus. Especially when in malls, kids are supposed to sit on their laps and talk to them about what they want for Christmas. But when you hire them, they would get money and they would have something to eat during this holiday.

Remember Kind Theoden in Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers? That old guy that went Benjamin Button on us and aged backward? He could be a good Mr. Claus. A king so regal and just, happens to be a soldier too, to act as your Mall Santa? And instead of giving you toys for presents, he gives you horses and swords. That is awesome.

If not, there are probably old men who have already taken the whole Santa thing as a seasonal profession. Get them if you want. At least they already had experience, right? And they probably sound a lot closer to the real deal. Assuming that they are not as creepy as the hobos, your children will be fine.

It is not like The Simpson, though. That one is known as a national thing for America. Both have last more than two decades everybody in the world has probably heard of their names or seen a bit of their art style somewhere. Whether it was on TV or the internet. Same goes for Family Guy and Futurama.

In the case that the Santa you hire tolerates, even adores children, give him an extra tip. They are probably grandfathers who have grandchildren. They are the type to spoil and love children unconditionally no matter how nasty a kid is. These people are admirable. Maybe even at a lower tier than teachers.

Whoops. An old man in a red coat just walked up to the platform. Looks like they already found their next red Dumbledore for this year. He is a bit too skinny to be the jolly old man though.

But if you are a man that also fits the bill, then do it yourself? Cheaper that way, you know? You may even get other people to hire you next year. It will give you additional money on top of your own salary. It serves as a nice back up too in case of emergencies. Plus, this makes a good story to tell your own grandchildren.




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