Tuesday, 13 May 2014

You Can't Choose The Best Zombie Movies If You Don't Know The Rules

By Mickey Jhonny


The question is frequently posed, what are the best zombie movies? To answer this question, however, one has to first in fact be clear about just what qualifies as a zombie movie. Or, for that matter, what qualifies a zombie. The uninitiated might be surprised to learn this isn't so straightforward a matter as it first seems. We won't presume here to settle the much debated sprinters vs stumblers debate, nor what constitutes being dead. Even leaving aside those controversies, though, the matter isn't necessarily straightforward. For instance, simply calling them the undead or living dead leaves open the place of vampires. They too share the gray place between dead and alive, but, they aren't zombies, that's for sure. So, some kind of rules will be helpful in determining the parameters of what qualifies.

Well, they do say that rules are made to be broken. And it's certainly true that the rules guiding conventions in regards to movie zombies have been broken plenty enough. Nevertheless, there remain some pretty enduring rules. Even many of those that have been broken have not thereby been vanished from the genre. So, while a little flexibility may be required in the application, some parameters can be usefully identified.

Our examination of zombie movie rules will be helped by acknowledging the great impact of George Romero. So the rules will be initially broken into the pre and the post Romero zombies. After that some further rules about the narrative mainstays of zombie movies will be considered.

The Pre Romero Zombies

1. The original idea of zombies comes from notions of Haitian voodoo and the pre-Romero movies often followed this archetype so that such zombies would have a master that controlled them as a function of having raised them from the grave.

2. These early zombies usually had slow, unbalanced movement,

3. Zombies were often associated to some kind of social collapse, issuing into an apocalyptic, nihilistic world.

4. Often dovetailing with the above convention, zombiism was frequently depicted as a plague-like occurrence.

Romero/post-Romero Zombies

5. Under the influence of Romero's vision, zombies were no longer depicted as under the control of a master-mind. Instead they become more like a force of nature - in fact something of a natural disaster. Indeed, it has become a familiar trope in zombie movies that the zombies are the product of some "unnatural" human intervention into the world -- radiation, pharmacology, etc..

6. These new zombies had an apparently insatiable hunger for human flesh.

7. Under Romero's influence, the zombie attacks were explicitly depicted in graphic and gruesome detail, with emphasis on the gore.

8. And possibly the most enduring of Romero's revision of the zombie mythology was the idea that they could only be "killed" by a skull crashing blow of some sort that damaged their brain.

9 Though perhaps as enduring as #8 is the premise that the zombie plague, which as we saw predates Romero's vision, was spread through the human population by zombie bites.

Stock ingredients for a zombie movie

10. A generic moron, who out of stupidity, selfishness, cowardice or general inhumanity will prove to be the weak link in the fortifications protecting the straggling survivors against the zombies.

11. Straggling survivors, usually with a rainbow-like ethnic, gender and age mix, who capture in microcosm the hope and futility, dignity and venality, of the humanity that is in all likelihood about to be wiped out.

12. And of course one of the most stock of stock story devices, is the initial incomprehension and denial about what's actually going down. Interestingly, despite all the zombie movies in the world, no zombie movie itself ever takes place in a world that has zombie movies. Or, at the very least, no public official, nor any other person with any authority, it would appear has ever seen such a movie. Because they sure are slow on the uptake.

13. Though on the surface, zombie movies are about killing zombies, they are really about human distrust, betrayal and fear. They're not just surviving the zombies, but themselves, and each other.

14. Some poor sap, emotionally attached to one of the zombies, just can't believe his or her loved one is now a flesh eating ambulating corpse. It usually goes badly.

15. Then of course there's the leader, who could have been and maybe will be, but never has quite the followers required. Usually a male, he tries against hope to pull everyone together, always explaining that solidarity is their only chance of surviving. His thanks in return is some obnoxious jerk accusingly questioning: "who made you the boss?"

16. And of course some hot love-interest. Surely the most compelling geek attraction to the zombie movie is the hotties. "They'll have to have sex with me! How else will the human race be repopulated?" Unfortunately, though, that cuts across both genders, so there's always some alpha type to get in your way. But, still at least it gives some hope. How do you survive a zombie apocalypse without some hope?

So, there you go; there's our 16 rules for identifying zombies and their movies. Now, next time you're asked about the best zombie movies , you know what you're talking about!




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